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Hi.

My name is Madelyne Riley, welcome to my blog. Anorexic turned foodie, I'm here to champion eating disorder recovery and body positivity.  I'm having my cake, eating it too, then going back for seconds.  

This Eff-Ing Sweatshirt

This Eff-Ing Sweatshirt

By now, you’ve probably seen the disgusting, disrespectful, downright stupid sweatshirt that Revolve put on its website, then almost immediately took down after public outcry (thank God). I saw this earlier almost a month ago now, and got right tow work drafting up a post, calling out Revolve and expressing my anger and sadness over the fact that anyone would think it is okay to put this on a sweatshirt, then have the audacity to charge for it. I couldn’t help but imagine someone walking down the street, doing their best, keeping their chin up in a society that spends billions of dollars (and MAKES billions of dollars) making sure that she doesn’t feel beautiful, that her body is not desirable, that she must change in order to be accepted, and then seeing someone someone wear this piece of absolute garbage. The pain that this ridiculous garment could cause really broke my heart.

So there I was, furiously typing away, and I had to stop. In the middle of my rant, I had a moment of humbling clarity, a voice inside me said “But Maddy, you believe this sweatshirt.” At the end of the day, when I try a skirt on that used to be loose and is now tight, I whisper to myself “You lazy piece of shit, how did you let this happen.” I don’t want to be so cruel to myself, and I do it less often, but I do it. I am fat-phobic too, because I hate gaining weight. I hate gaining weight because I value myself more the thinner I am, and I view gaining weight as “letting myself go,” the Pointy Chin voice calls my quest for body positivity just an excuse to get fat, and isn’t that exactly what this sweatshirt is saying?

It’s a process. I am getting better. I am accepting and loving myself more everyday, but they great irony of all of this is that it’s actually much harder to for me to be body-positive than it is to be thin. It is much harder to say, “You know what, you have other skirts that fit you wonderfully, it’s time to say goodbye to the one that doesn’t fit you” than it is to say, “Time to go on a diet.” It is much harder to accept that bodies are meant to change and evolve as our lives do, it is harder to not give in to the billion dollar industry telling me that I’m ugly. And it’s SO GREAT that when we saw this sweatshirt, so many of us were IMMEDIATELY furious and saw it for the pure garbage it is. That’s a step.

This incredibly stupid and irresponsible article of clothing has given me a lot to think about, and a reminder to keep working on my body-positive goal. But seriously dude, fuck this sweatshirt.

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